This is an exercise I do each year, using a template my brother gave me about 5 years ago. It feels dorky to do but I also know that every time I embrace the dork, good things happen, if not immediately, down the road.
- One outcome I would like to have:
- Trouble Girl published and Shiny, Pretty, Gothic on the way.
- That is important to me because:
- the books are a project that has dragged on much too long.
- Ask yourself at least 3 more times why it is important to you. That is important to me because:
- I was so excited about doing this project. I want to complete it.
- I can’t really move on until it’s done.
- I wanted the time to do this properly but am learning that without others and outside pressure, I expand and expand and expand; that I am not strong enough on my own to resist the urge to expand and expand and expand. I thought I was (strong enough).
- Speculation: take the last answer you arrived at and look from there. If it were fulfilled, what would your work and/or life look like at the end of the year? If you got what you wrote, and got it fully, what would be there at the end of the year that is not there now?
- I’d have boundaries that I trusted, that I knew were only suggestions or assigned to help me, not assuage the ego of the person setting the boundaries. I’d know I could take or leave the suggestions. This would help X and the people around me because they’d feel safer to ask me things without worry that I’d be too forceful, demanding or draconian. My work would involve more people and more conversations and perhaps writing retreats and events; maybe it’d involve The Writing Room idea (collaborative writing project, aka create a sitcom with a bunch of other writers). My life would be happier if dirtier (wouldn’t get house as clean and tidy as I want it without paying for it), more active and people-oriented. If I got what I wrote and got it fully, there would be companionship, low pressure friendships and more laughter and support. I’ feel safer and more secure; stronger and less brittle and worried about people’s disapproval. All of this would show X how to find friends. I’d be modelling the behaviour.
- Allow yourself to speculate and make note of several outcomes (try to list at least 10). The more specific they are, the better. And, don’t try to settle on one at this point.
- I’d be so much more confident and happy.
- I’d talk to people instead of scowling all the time.
- I might leave Van Writers to Y.
- I might travel.
- A might trust me more.
- If A trusted me more, they’d follow my lead more with X and X’d make friends and be happier and healthier.
- A would be healthier and make some friends.
- I might become richer.
- I’d laugh more, sleep better and be healthier.
- Maybe I’d get some interviews about Trouble Girl.
- One, two or three outcomes from the above list that most represent the fulfillment of what is important to me:
- Stronger, phatter (sic), happier,
- good modelling for X, A and others,
- richer in all the ways!
- This step adds the greatest amount of empowerment to this process. Get out your calendar and schedule times to do those things that will result in your achieving the outcome you selected. At this time you may not know all that needs to be done. However, if you have time scheduled, you can reflect and determine what actions are appropriate at that time.
- relax
- finish the projects you’ve started: Do the Wrong Thing and LoSERR before moving to Nine Year Old CEO
- keep trying to get 20 hrs/week in and keep being chill about failing to.