“THIS ISN’T THE BEGINNING. I’m not sure what it is but I’ve decided to start here…

“Ummm, ok, I’m just going to start talking and then the words will just come out without me thinking about them because what, what I did was… what I did was…IIIII—I—I tried to kill myself.”

So begins Ava Mueller’s account of her life and misadventures. She grows up on a farm, sheltered by devout immigrant parents. Her mother fluctuates between suicidal threats and violent outbursts and her father, checked out of life long before Ava enters the scene, goes through the motions, tending his crops, providing for his family and praying.

When a high school teacher tells Ava she should write, her world is shattered. “Boys go to school, girls help their mothers: this is what the Bible says,” her mother tells her. When Ava pushes for school, her mother issues an ultimatum.